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Hotel Vance Tribute Portillo

SERVICE & CHECKIN -- Record for the fastest checkin... ever-- Well done gentlemen 🫡.

Good customer service throughout our stay & phone service was consistently efficient.

Late checkout is costly & more of a deterrent: $75 until 2pm. Early checkin was free.


LOBBY, ELEVATOR, CORRIDORS -- Swanky vibes from every transition.

Lots of strategic negative space & comfortable lobby seating.

Clean, chromatic, contemporary lifts with LEDs & plenty of space.

Artsy decor.


ROOM (walkthrough) -- L-shaped guest room featuring a contemporary theme, high ceilings, & wood floors.

The design is off-putting; the dreary lighting, poor color psychology, & imbalanced use of space creates a bleak dungeon-like atmosphere.

There's a hodgepodge of seating options, medium-size armoire, & huge workspace (undermined by lack of ergonomics).

Power outlets are in very specific & limited locations.

This was a stressful & uncomfortable accommodation.


BED -- Decent bed config:

A King Beauty Rest mattress that provided excellent support enhanced by a soft plush topper.

Good sheet selection, soft 100% cotton, & a cozy insulating duvet.

The pillow situation was 'silly'; undersized (Standard) on dimensions, quantity, & and weak fill.

BATH -- Oof...

Good water pressure with designer (Gilchrist & Soames) products, but a painful shower experience: a cramped glass half-barrier walk-in.

Width is insufficient for an average build adult, requiring a focused effort to avoid painful contact with the wall.

The limited length is further shortened by their shower head choice & ledge installation.

After all the trouble of bathing, you're left in a plume of fog due to poor (0) ventilation & the sealed windows.

The other fixtures were proportionally small & worn.

TV & ENTERTAINMENT -- Impressive picture quality.

A 55" LG UHD flatscreen with basic programming.

The fixed mount makes it impossible to connect an HDMI device or take advantage of the pre positioned setting.

Thankfully it's Chromecast-ready if you can get that to work.



WI-FI & CELL RECEPTION -- Unencrypted free WiFi was underperforming for work & most things.

No alternative premium offering.

Cell coverage was good enough to hotspot.

--Performance--

Video streaming - poor

Online gaming - poor

Video chatting - poor

--Nerd Stats--

11-14 Mbps download

11-14 Mbps upload

0% packet loss

33 ms latency

33 ms jitter


FOOD & DRINK -- DoorDash contactless delivery is permitted.

In-room amenities included: a small mini fridge,

2 free bottles of water, & a mini cuisine art coffee bar stashed cleverly in the armoire.


NOISE -- It was a quiet stay initially, like Ghost-town quiet.

After our neighbors checked in, it was no longer peaceful; full conversations & slamming doors echo loudly from the entrance.


RATING

Good cleaning standards & upkeep but the room was such a drag; we walked away with 0 curiosity for returning and/or exploring other floor plans.

The interior design is too clever by half & I wouldn't recommend this one if you're optimizing for comfort or work(cation).

Competition in the vicinity is too good.

2.5/5 ⭐️


@mrstaycation





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@mrstaycation

@mrstaycation

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